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Natalie Portman Makes a Tasty Swan

 


Okay, It’s official. I’m a Natalie Portman fan. I can’t say I ever really thought much of her as Queen Amidala. I mean, it’s clear she has no idea what it means to be a queen. And makes it no sense that a queen would give up the throne to become a senator. Where’s the glory in that? You don’t get keys to the city for passing silly legislation.

And I have to admit I was a little disappointed when I first realized Black Swan was about the pressures faced by a ballet dancer who lands the lead role in Swan Lake and not about birds. I mean I was expecting the cat equivalent of Babette’s Feast or Babette’s Fancy Feast… I wasn’t looking to see girls bouncing around a stage – even if they were dressed kind of shiny at times.

But Natalie Portman took my breath away. Not because she’s attractive. I mean, I guess she is in that classical beauty kind of way… I mean she’s not as beautiful as yours truly… I mean, who is, really? But I might have gone for her back during my experimental phase at Leopardia Collegiate…

Bill once suggested I have another experimental phase with another superheroine and he could join in… Like that was going to happen. I can barely stand touching him when I’m not in heat let alone going all kitty on the prowl… I’m not a teenager anymore.

But Portman was convincing in Black Swan. I began to identify with her role. I could feel her struggle as she tried to master her Swan Lake character all the while she started to believe she was turning into a swan herself… [Spolier alert! If you don't want the movie ruined, don't read the preceding sentence. There, I warned you. Hey, better late than never, right? Anyway, I've seen it now so that's kinda the same as everyone's seen it - to me. Okay, back to me!] It was positively… mouth-watering. Her legs…the feathers…the plumage…her eyes… I totally wanted to pounce on her and bat the star around in my paws for a bit. And after I’d finish playing with my food, I’d start to eat and maybe leave her body on the bed for Bill… as a gift.

Portman is a true thespian. She deserves an award – for being delicious! MEOW!



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