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Leopard Woman

I am Leopard Woman, hear me purr! Hailing from the center of the Earth, I was Queen of Leopardia, a nation of intelligent cats. Finding a magic amulet, I have ventured to the surface world in human form to combat injustice, protect innocents and glare at dogs from up in trees. I look even more sexy when I’m looking down on you!

Currently on a break from Major Faultline, my time-traveling layabout hubby. With no one on the surface world willing or competent to assist me, I have returned to my underground Kingdom of Leopardia, to take command of the resistance movement against the robot army of SUCKER. I am Leopardia –and the world’s– greatest hope for Victory.

Getting Ducks In A Row

A battle garbed Leopard Woman regales us with tales of the battle against SUCKER.

From the Beginning

While the Rat’s Away

After getting used to being independent while her husband Major Faultline is in jail, Leopard Woman is less than excited for his return.

 
 
 

Nine Lives are Better than One…

…actually anything cat is better than… well, anything! I promised the Cat People of Leopardia that I would write something about my mother for the official Leopardia Royal Obituary newsletter, “Hey! Look Who’s Dead Now!” After all, I was the woman’s kitten, so I sorta had to. Well, actually, what I did is pretended to [...]

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Counseling

In a couples therapy session, Major Faultline and Leopard Woman address the future of their rocky relationship.

Episode: 007-LWMF-3

http://www.tightsandfights.com

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Acting Director

Leopard Woman is celebrating! Since Captain Euchre is missing, and her husband is off the team, she’s been made Permanent Acting Director of Ronin Force!

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Creme of the Crap

Leopard Woman evaluates several new Ronin Force applicants.

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I’d Rather Be Declawed. Seriously.

So the Ronin Force Recruitment Drive is full swing. Worst time of my life! I have a pile of mail just covering everything. Lungfish wants me to read every piece of paper that came in. I don’t know how anyone ever hires anyone for anything with the amount of paper I have. My desk just [...]

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The Jacket Imperative

Hmmm. Something very mysterious has happened. I should start by saying that there’s a number of perks to being the Acting Director of Ronin Force – Toronto’s most exclusive crime fighting team. We’re kinda like Cream, only way more awesome. MEOW! Oh, that makes me thirsty. Be right back! Okay, I’m back. I was going [...]

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Shook Me All Night Long

Leopard Woman is angry but recovering from the earthquake caused by her hubby Major Faultline.

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Thank You For Calling

Leopard Woman gets an annoying phone call from Fantabulous Gal, who won’t take “no” for an answer as she persists in her mission to become a part of Ronin Force. Fantabulous Gal then finds a mysterious euchre card.

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Counselling Redux

Major Faultline and Leopard Woman attempt to resolve their marital issues with their online instant messaging marriage counselor.

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A (Very) Simple Plan

Leopard Woman has a plan to find Captain Euchre – interns. Meanwhile, Major Faultline has taken a liking to being hacked. He’s even bragging about it!

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New’s Year’s Thoughts on a Sunny Day

I love the beginning of the year. There’s a smell to it, you know. Some sort of – Interruption from Major Droopy Pants: It’s mid-month. Stop pretending this all about the new year. What? I can still say it’s the beginning of the year even though it’s mid-month! That’s fine. Some people don’t like that [...]

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Natalie Portman Makes a Tasty Swan

White meat? Dark Meat? Don’t make me choose.

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Making Up

Major Faultline steps up his game and asks his wife out on a date. Leopard Woman tries to hide her glee.

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Just getting rid of Evil Trojan Borscht before my date.

Major, if you read this… first of all, just take your time and sound out the big words. I faith in you. Secondly, I might be a little late for our date – I’m out saving the city! Oh… is that a truck full of my favourite cat food!? RWAR!!

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Credit Where it’s Not Due

Leopard Woman describes how she escapes from her kidnapper, with nobody’s help, and wonders where Major Faultline’s run off to.

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Meow Master – my greatest weakness!

Grouper, by marufish on Flickr

This blog post is dedicated to Meow Master. They say human women go crazy for chocolate. I go crazy for Meow Master. Bring me my Meow Master!

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Where The Hell Is Lungfish?

lungfish-in-space

Seems like I gotta everything around here. Is this what a leader does with her time? When am I supposed to nap!? No, seriously, Lung Fish kept my nap calendar. I have no idea when my next scheduled nap is.

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The Yoke’s on You

Leopard Woman ponders how to get rid of Lungfish’s new hires in the most personally amusing way possible.

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Which came first: My dumbass husband or this egg?

My time-traveling dork of a husband left me a giant egg. At first I was going to eat it, but then something weird happened…

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Meet Snapper! Isn’t he the cutest?

Isn’t Snapper the time thing the cutest!?

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The End of Snapper – or, How to Cook a Time Egg Thingy

TimeBeastinked

Sadness descends on the L.Woman-Faultline home as we say goodbye to a member of our family.

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Double date with Robo Stretch Dorks

Catdammit! Bill signed me up a on double date with robots! I don’t even really wanna go on a single date with Bill.

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Disaster at Medieval Times…

How’d my double date with Robo Stretch Lad go? How’d you think it went? Did you really think it would go well?

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The Battle of Medieval Times

We found Robo Stretch Lad and got him hooked back up with Robo Stretch Lass. Oh, and we trashed Medieval Times.

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Alexander Graham Bull

In a not-so-shocking development, Major Faultline and Leopard Woman are back in therapy. Why can’t these two crazy time-travelling everywhere-urinating kids make it work?

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Time to Take Out the Super-Nuisance Trash

Ugh! These bird-brained super-ninnies Lungfish hired are driving me crazy. I need to get rid of them of all.

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Caffeine Conundrum

Hint for Leopard Woman: When using a new coffee maker, always read the instructions first.

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Hail to the Kitty

It’s election time again, and none of the candidates seem quite capable of courting this kitty’s vote. And don’t get me started on the super powered candidates. Leopardian politics were so much better.

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Cat Kingdom Come

A call from her former kingdom leads Leopard Woman to question whether to go back – or at least that’s what the subtitles say.

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The Most Important Friday April 29th in History

The Biggest Event of Our Generation, the royal wedding of Prince William and Kate Middleton was on Friday… I want to talk about the stuff that actually mattered, the fashion!

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Kick You Out Before I Go-Go

Glee fever has clearly struck Leopard Woman, as she hands out pink slips with a jaunty tune.

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I don’t think this comes standard…

Guess what I found in the back of my new car! Yep, exactly. The dead body of a fellow super hero.

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We Love You, Simon Le Bon Jr.!

We get a glimpse of a teenage Leopard Woman through the medium of Betamax

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Council This!

Major Faultline tries to justify his collection of future porn. This oughtta be good.

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The Ronin Force Bachelorette Auction

Bid now to win a date with one of the lovely ladies of Ronin Force. Me!

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Kitty Bidding

Leopard Woman explains how the Ronin Force Bachelorette Auction went terribly awry.

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Dating Licks

Leopard Woman describes her date with the Plumber, and two surprise guests.

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Pinged, Ponged And Pooned Across The World

So me and Ping Pong Poon have been keeping in touch ever since she got repossessed.

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Fur Coat-and-Dagger

I know who Sir Dance-a-Lot’s top-secret informant is. . . And probably shouldn’t be blogging about it to the whole Internet, but I can’t help myself!

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The Informant, or the Modern Dead Guy in a Santa Suit

Since I’m meeting with him today, and I doubt that any supervillains will read this blog (or read at all), I might as well spill the beans about the supervillain informant. It’s Santa Corpse. Really, Santa Corpse. Yes, a dead Santa Claus. No, really.

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It’s Time to Face Facts

My Thursday was crazy. As in, really crazy. Much crazier than yours could ever be.

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Adieu and a Warning

Leopard Woman bids a fond farewell to the surface world.

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Shoulda, Coulda, Woulda’s

The former Queen of Leopardia muses on a kingdom fallen and a people shaved.

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Just the Tip of The Cheese

My beautiful kingdom, punked by the Robot Army equivilant of the swim team!

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Leopardian War-Journal, Pt. 1: Refugees of Cat’an

When the cat’s away, the dogs form a political alliance of expediency.

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Getting Ducks In A Row

A battle garbed Leopard Woman regales us with tales of the battle against SUCKER.

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